As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize