I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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