All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
