Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
