my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
