I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
