My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
