I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
