their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
