You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
