Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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