either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Operation Purity has been aborted
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
