Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize