ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
