I am puke
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
