pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
