I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
