Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
