like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
