Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
