Everything about him screamed your future.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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