a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
