I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Im part way to drunk.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
