gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
