All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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