you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
