It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
