How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
