talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
only you would photoshop your dick
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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