Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Randomize
