office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
tonight lets celebrate not being married
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
