Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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