addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
