he thought i was a dude.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
