it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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