Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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