...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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