Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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