So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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