Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
