The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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