I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
