he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
