I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
