Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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