No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
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