...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
