I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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