she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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