im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
