Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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