I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
