Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
