The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i was born a porn star she said
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I use my feet as sexual weapons
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
