Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
