Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
