oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Randomize
