Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
