At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
