He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
