she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
