We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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