There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
